I used to be able to describe myself as an optimistic person. USED TO. But I’m pretty sure that’s not the case at the moment. But I can’t pin point why. You know how when you have allergies the doctor will sometimes put you on an elimination diet? Where basically you start at ground zero with your diet. You only eat basic non inflammatory foods and then slowly add back in other items until BAM allergic reaction.
That’s pretty much where I am right now in life. I feel like EVERYTHING is triggering a reaction. There is not one single piece of life right now that I could snuggle into and say… this right here makes me feel good. So I’m dropping it all. I’ve basically logged out of all social media and I’m retreating to my safe place (once I figure out where that is) until I feel better.
This year started out great but has been at a gradual decline and I didn’t realize how close to the bottom I was until right before I hit it. And I STILL don’t know how I ended up here. I need to do some soul searching and soul mending. I need to sit in quiet for a while. I ventured out. But I think I’ll ease back in for a little bit. I’ll surround myself with my village… and silence… and preserve my energy until I have enough in store to share with others without taking away from what I need to survive.