To Blog or Not to Blog…

Brayden Nicu

My son was born 4 months early… FOUR MONTHS EARLY!!

I’d never even known that it was even possible to have a baby that early. It would have been an easy bet for me to take, “I bet you five dollars that that’s not even possible”.  Little did I know…

BJ was the smallest baby I’d ever seen. When he was born I heard his little bitty cry and I didn’t hear another sound from him for two months. He was placed on a ventilator (life support) immediately and rushed to the NICU. I gave him his first kiss a week after he was born. We spent four months in the NICU. I lived, ate and breathed the NICU. I felt guilty when I went home at the end of the day… and barely functioned until I could get back to the hospital where I sat and watched his chest rise and fall all day long. I had to watch his chest rise and fall… it was soothing to my frazzled nerves. As long as I was there and could see it, I wasn’t worried about it stopping. So I sat day in and day out and watched it.

 One of the things I often said was that I had no idea there was a section at the hospital that housed, tiny sick babies. I knew there where children’s hospitals, but my mind never even fathomed that there was a place where there were row upon row of tiny incubators housing sick little babies. Where new parents sat and cried and begged their God or God’s to for the chance to take their babies home.

 

To blog or not to blog…

 I decided early on that there had to be a reason that things happened the way they did for me. And I also decided that I would make sure that people knew about the road less traveled. Maybe it’s my internal optimism or my innocence lost, but I want to make sure people know that not every one comes home 2 days after giving birth, not every mom gets to hold their baby in their arms and cry tears of joy when the nurse places them in their arms. Some parents embark on a journey that no parent should ever have to go through after giving birth.

 

To blog or not to blog…

 One thing that became very apparent to me is that the only person who really understands what the parent of a sick child is going through is another parent of a sick child. Sure, people empathize and want to help. But no one “gets it” like someone who has been through it. And if a person doesn’t know any one who has… the road can be a tad bit more difficult.

 I’m blogging so that by chance, a person may come across my story, my rants, my disappointments, and celebrations and find comfort. And know that they aren’t alone. That they may find strength to continue their journey.

Please, feel free to contact me with any questions… or for a listening ear. Post a comment and I’ll be sure to comment back. I decided to blog to create a source of support for anyone who has to go through the NICU journey. Because I’ve been there and was blessed to make it through it.  

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