Valentine’s Day

Today I miss having someone to love. It sounds so flippant. Of course there’s BJ and B2 but that’s different, that’s maternal. Today I miss really loving someone. The happiness that you feel thinking about the person you love. The security in having a person in that capacity. And definitely/of course being loved in return.ContinueContinue reading “Valentine’s Day”

The grief monster

I’ve written before about this time of year, the time of year leading up to the day the bottom fell out. Somewhere in between BJ’s birthday and February I start feeling like my nerve endings are starting to fray. Everything I touch I feel, like I’ve been partially holding my breath because I can’t quiteContinueContinue reading “The grief monster”

My Village… Thank you…

Today I want to write about friendships. When Byron died my friends stepped in. They did this thing where even if they barely knew each other they formed this connection with each other in order to be there for me. In my mind when I think about it I see a group of girls holdingContinueContinue reading “My Village… Thank you…”

The slow down

So we’re in month million of Covid -19… the boys are back home. We’ve found our groove again and I turned 38 yesterday. I’ve been working on my patio thanks to the Black Women who Love Outdoor Living Spaces group on Facebook. I’ve been doing home projects thanks to Black Women who love interior designContinueContinue reading “The slow down”

Since the world has shut down

I’m finally ready to write about the Coronavirus. It’s been on my mind since things got crazy but my mind was too hectic to express my feelings through words. I’ve been going through the necessary motions and to be honest I’ve been mostly scared out of my mind. My girlfriends and I went to MardiContinueContinue reading “Since the world has shut down”

Chapter 9

Saturday my biggest boy turned NINE. The time has flown by so fast… I don’t really know how to feel about it. He’s maturing right in front of me. He counted down almost the whole month until his birthday in typical BJ fashion and he wanted to know if “everyone will know it’s his birthday”ContinueContinue reading “Chapter 9”

Things I wish I could tell you…on your birthday

I miss you. Life has moved forward so much because it had to and sometimes I feel guilty for not standing still… for forgetting the way you smelled. I used to be able to feel your presence when you walked in a room. I loved seeing you walk into a room. I wish I’d knownContinueContinue reading “Things I wish I could tell you…on your birthday”

A letter

Dear Boys, It’s been a while since I’ve written you a letter, so today (Good Friday) I thought I should. BJ…my growing, handsome, strong and resilient boy…. how I love you. You’re slowly turning into a preteen. You say the cool little phrases “you thought!” or “duh” and your little brother thinks you hang theContinueContinue reading “A letter”