Flowers for the living…

A long time ago, I was part of a mentorship program that went to schools and mentored younger children. We did an exercise during the training for that program that has stuck with me for years. It was called flowers for the living. They picked a random few people to go up front and lay on a table, handed them flowers and told them to close their eyes. The effect was much like a person laying in a casket. The instructor then had people go up front and say the kind words that they would say at their funeral. The purpose of the exercise was to encourage people to give people their “flowers” while they’re living. To tell people how they make you feel, how much you love them and what they mean to you while they are able to hear it.

These flowers are for my husband.

Ours was not a romance that started off without a hitch, we had complications and had to learn each other’s love languages (he says it’s because we’re both Leos and are both stubborn LOL)… it took some time and a good amount of effort but I couldn’t be happier to have stayed by his side. Dear hubby and I have been married for 9 months. Yep I know… we have a two year old and we’ve only been married 9 months. Maybe it will sound better to say that we’ve been together for almost 6 years. We put the cart before the horse in the baby department… but, it all shook out right in the end.

I’ve mentioned in another blog that we’ve got a 13 year age difference. I won’t give you our ages but it’s safe to say we grew up in almost two different generations. Oddly enough… that’s one of the things I love about him. He brings a different perspective on life and it keeps things interesting.

I knew I was going to marry him about 6 months after we started dating. There wasn’t a significant event that triggered my decision, just a lot of little things that made me feel like he was “it.” I knew it in my gut. We had our ups and downs but I somehow knew…this here is a guy with staying power. He’s not impressed with the MAC makeup and the cute clothes (pre-baby LOL), he saw through what most people couldn’t or didn’t take the time to see through. He saw who I was as a person and didn’t try to alter it one bit.

We didn’t have a fairy tale romance; we had conversations… about any and everything. We talked about politics, religion, kids, news, sports, books… you name it we talked about it for hours. He didn’t sweep me off of my feet; instead he chipped away at the wall I’d built before him slowly and steadily. On top of everything else his ability to make me laugh is what stood out. Laughing is a necessity in any marriage or a relationship. Unlike any other man I’ve ever met… he can make me laugh while I’m mad at him. Most people would say I can hold a mean grudge. He’s the only person with whom I can’t. And when we’re having a spat my world seems a tad off its axis until things smooth out.

He’s self-employed and will slay any dragon to ensure that his family is taken care of and he feels a sense of satisfaction in making sure that not only my needs are met but my wants are too. Most men will never understand my love of a designer bag but the fact that I’m a purse (and shoe) fanatic is enough for him to make sure that I do my new purse dance (yes I have a dance) every once in a while. He only rolls his eye slightly (he can’t completely help it, he is a man after all.) He doesn’t quite understand half of my crazy impulses or ideas but he loves me enough to go along with them because he loves me.

I wouldn’t be who I am today without him, BJ wouldn’t be the joyful little bundle of energy he is and this blog would be a completely different blog if it weren’t for him. He was my backbone through BJ’s premature birth. He sat in the car, held my hand and cried with me when I was too distraught for words. When I was too stressed out to eat he bargained with me “you don’t have to eat the whole thing baby, just take a bite” he kept a watchful eye careful not to push me too hard when I was so close to breaking. All the while working to make sure his business ran effectively enough to care for us all.

I’m not sure at my age that I believe in fairy tale romances anymore. I know by now that the grass on the other side is only greener because there’s been more manure sprinkled on top. But I do believe that certain people are meant to meet. I believe that God designs every one with another half and that when those two halves connect it’s hard to believe that those two separate people ever functioned separately. I was blessed to meet mine. He makes me a better person. He entertains my whims (he encouraged me to write a blog). And he would rip another person apart at the seams if they meant his family any harm (as would I). He’s my Mr. Big, the light to my fire, and the soundtrack to my life story…  my husband.

5 Replies to “Flowers for the living…”

  1. I just had an “Aha!” moment. My husband and I are BOTH Geminis and we had a rough first year, too. But are one of the most solid couples out of anyone we know now.

    Maybe opposites attract…but like minded couples are in for the long haul. 🙂

    1. Very true!! The first year is definitely a zinger. Maybe it’s the whole “we’re in this for the long haul” thing. I think being like minded helps! If we’re both a little crazy we’ll understand eachother!

      1. We “power struggled” our way through…and often joke that we don’t know how we made it. But I have to say…being able to understand each others quirks is wonderful. Chris and I both love the same activities, both hate expressing our feelings, and need our alone time. So it works beautifully. Though the downside is we share similar bad traits so…out-procrasinating is something I am now aware of. 🙂

  2. I love where you say that you didn’t have a fairy tale romance but rather conversations. That is a perfect description that says so much!

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