Hello Again

Its been a while since we’ve spoken to each other so let me start off by saying how much I’ve missed you. Life got a bit in the way of things for a while. And by life I mean that BJ has been thriving in his terrible twos and my job decided to block word press (the nerve of them!) which made it harder to log in.
For some reason I’ve had this gut feeling that this fall/winter is MY season. THIS is my season for some change. As I lay here in bed (blogging from my cell phone because I’m too lazy to go get my laptop) while BJ is in his bed screaming his head off (he fights naps with every ounce of strength) I’ve been thinking about where I’m at in life and where I’d like to be.
I start a new job in a couple of weeks. It’s a definite move up and into what I hope to be a better company. So, I’m happy with where my career is at the moment.
But, I can’t shake the thought that I’m not doing what I’m “supposed” to be doing. Sure, I’m a full time accountant with a two year old and I do all that I can to be the best wife and mom I can. I’m constantly thinking about his development and what I can do to provide him with all that he needs. I’m a proactive mom and I feel good about where he is at socially and developmentally. But aside from being put on this Earth to be BJ’s mom… I feel like I was also put here to give back.
The fact that I haven’t focused at all in that area, outside of thinking about it off and on, bothers me. I want to start a business… nonprofit or otherwise. I want to help NICU parents. I want to help NICU families… I really want to help. ..
I heard a slogan that says “we’re doing the most good.” I’m not sure where that slogan came from (I think Goodwill or something) but it stuck. That’s all we can really do isn’t it? Our most good. As a human and a Christian it’s my duty to do the most good I can. To provide happiness and relief… To leave something positive behind when I’m finished and I need to figure out what that will be.
Our NICU journey was my very own living hell. And there are families going through it every day. I liken it to famine or war… We should all be rushing to render aid. But most people have no idea people are living this hell at all. And definitely aren’t sending in the troops to aid and assist. Maybe that’s a melodramatic way of putting things… But I’ve got such a strong emotional connection to this particular struggle and I feel such a fire for it, that in my mind we should be doing everything we can to provide support for the families unfortunate enough to be experiencing life with an infant the NICU first hand.
So that’s where I’m at.  I’m discontent, busy and brainstorming… Hopefully I’ll figure it out soon. And I’ll be doing my best to pop in and say hello more often. If any of you out in the bloggesphere have any ideas feel free to let me know.

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