The slow down

So we’re in month million of Covid -19… the boys are back home. We’ve found our groove again and I turned 38 yesterday. I’ve been working on my patio thanks to the Black Women who Love Outdoor Living Spaces group on Facebook. I’ve been doing home projects thanks to Black Women who love interior design and have actually bought some plants thanks to Black Women who Love Plants (don’t quote me on the name of that group). Decorating has been something I’ve always loved to do, but pouring myself into home projects has been a new and rewarding thing for me.

I’ve added to my tool collection, I’ve painted furniture, stained cabinets, changed out hardware, painted walls, refinished patio furniture, and also bought a puppy that we have been actively training. My home has always been pretty… I’m good at buying stuff and knowing where it would look best. But my home has never been “mine.” I always looked at it as an in between place. The house we’d live in until… I found our forever home and we moved there or I met someone we fell madly in love and moved into our dream home or his. Because it wasn’t going to be the house we lived in for a long time… I didn’t love it the way I would have a home that I purchased out of desire instead of necessity. I purchased our house almost 6 years ago today, after Byron died, almost 7 months pregnant, desperate to be moved in and settled before B2 arrived. He arrived almost exactly a month later. I moved in and began putting our lives together, focusing on the boys and getting BJ where he needed to be emotionally. Grateful for our place of residency… but not in love with it.

The stillness and lack of hustle and bustle of Covid has been showing me so many things that I didn’t realize before. It’s given me time to appreciate my blessings. It’s given me time to think about how I want my place of peace to look and actually work towards creating that space. I have time to water plants yall! Time to sit on my patio in peace and quiet… time to dream and plan. It’s odd to feel grateful for a pandemic but that’s exactly how I feel. I was so tired and worn out. The lack of football season and me being able to tell the boys no one on their team is playing instead of “I decided you aren’t playing” is a gift. What will eventually be a year without drop offs and rushing to practice and rushing to eat dinner and go to bed and get up and do it again is life changing.

Right now… I feel blessed. I’m happy to sit at home and do random things. And before the world begins moving at warp speed again I’m going to make a list of everything that I’ve done during the slow down to remind myself of all that can be accomplished by sitting still. Stay safe.

#stillfighting

 

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