Chapter 9

Saturday my biggest boy turned NINE. The time has flown by so fast... I don't really know how to feel about it. He's maturing right in front of me. He counted down almost the whole month until his birthday in typical BJ fashion and he wanted to know if "everyone will know it's his birthday" …

Things I wish I could tell you…on your birthday

I miss you. Life has moved forward so much because it had to and sometimes I feel guilty for not standing still... for forgetting the way you smelled. I used to be able to feel your presence when you walked in a room. I loved seeing you walk into a room. I wish I'd known …

A letter

Dear Boys, It's been a while since I've written you a letter, so today (Good Friday) I thought I should. BJ...my growing, handsome, strong and resilient boy.... how I love you. You're slowly turning into a preteen. You say the cool little phrases "you thought!" or "duh" and your little brother thinks you hang the …

5 years

So... it's been 5 years. 5 YEARS. And in those 5 years I've... Moved, had our baby boy, BJ has started Kindergarten and is now is 2nd grade. The boys have begun sports and have played (football, soccer and basketball). I left the company I was working at and am now on my 3rd job. …

The Anxiety Effect

I'm going to be 100% real with you... I suffer from anxiety/depression. It's only affected my life for the past 2 years or so. I'm amazing at masking it but found it harder and harder to do for the past couple of years. The changes were subtle. So subtle that I didn't really realize what …

My boys

We pray every night. We ask God to cover all that is special to us, we thank him for all of our blessings, and in those prayers we thank God for each other. I can't begin to thank God enough for the blessings that are the both of you. The night before last B2, you …

Switching jobs, doing a little dating and celebrating anniversaries… been busy.

Work... I found out about two months ago that my job was going to be moving me to another position. It was a semi lateral move due to a change the company is going through but according to everyone I work with this was going to be the best move for me. My nerves were …

Smiling

It seems I do most of my deepest thinking at work (I'm not sure why that is). But I seem to sit here while typing and my mind will wander off to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking at the moment. And today... I realized that I'm actually feeling okay. Not in the manic, …