To say that time flies by is an understatement. I mean... time really does get away from us. I haven't posted anything since February 2021. That's INSANE. BJ is eleven and B2 is seven and my heart is full. Today I read back over all of my "walking wounded posts." I've been feeling funky and… Continue reading It’s 2022… A 2021 recap
Things I wish I could tell you…on your birthday
I miss you. Life has moved forward so much because it had to and sometimes I feel guilty for not standing still... for forgetting the way you smelled. I used to be able to feel your presence when you walked in a room. I loved seeing you walk into a room. I wish I'd known… Continue reading Things I wish I could tell you…on your birthday
We lost my great aunt Ruby last night. To a heart attack... she fell unconscious on the way to the hospital where they tried to revive her but couldn't. This is almost the exact way Byron died. He was at a job site and she was on her way to the hospital... logistically different but… Continue reading Aunt Ruby
And oddly enough it's Christmas time again. It feels like it was just Christmas a couple of months ago. This year Christmas feels a little different than it has the past few years. I wouldn't say I'm engulfed in the Christmas spirit. But I would say I'm excited to see the boys faces this year.… Continue reading The Holidays
So... It's almost Christmas. Another year has almost passed and now is the time for reflection and resolutions. The boys are 7 and 3 and life has become "normal" (Lord it's taken almost 4 years to say that). BJ has now played two years of football and is in basketball. B2 is a potty trained… Continue reading Almost Christmas
It's been quite a while since I've posted anything... but I've felt like writing for quite a while and just now have a minute to get something down. I find myself writing in my head some days... I'll lay down at the end of the day and think about the post I'd like to write,… Continue reading Still Here
This has been a long week. I think the loss of Byron is finally hitting BJ. He's been more emotional than usual and acting out at school in ways that he never has. He's also told me in the middle of tears and frustration that he "wants his daddy." This past Wednesday was the first… Continue reading Kingdom work
To my baby boy,
This is my first letter to you. One of what probably will be hundreds. I'm not writing this letter for any particular reason other than to tell you how much I love you and that I am so incredibly grateful God blessed me with you. When I think of your short time on this earth… Continue reading To my baby boy,
The calm after the storm…
"You are going through the trenches, going at it all alone, with no future to look forward to other than raising those boys. But one day Byron is going to speak to you telling you that you must move forward and get yourself together and at that instance you'll realize that no matter what you must also live for you"...
There are days when I feel like life sucks but I will get through each day step by step... some days I actually feel like I'm doing well at moving forward and doing what needs to be done for my boys and then there are days like today. Where I toss and turn, wake up tired and feel like I'm walking through quick sand all day knowing that instead of looking forward to getting off work at 5pm my day won't end until both boys are in bed. Then wash.Rinse. And Repeat.