At this moment in time life is steady and almost routine. I'm not complaining at all about that because I think there's comfort in routine. I've been working and enjoying time off from being a football mom. But kind of looking forward to the excitement of our next football season as crazy as that sounds. …
It’s 2022… A 2021 recap
To say that time flies by is an understatement. I mean... time really does get away from us. I haven't posted anything since February 2021. That's INSANE. BJ is eleven and B2 is seven and my heart is full. Today I read back over all of my "walking wounded posts." I've been feeling funky and …
The grief monster
I've written before about this time of year, the time of year leading up to the day the bottom fell out. Somewhere in between BJ's birthday and February I start feeling like my nerve endings are starting to fray. Everything I touch I feel, like I've been partially holding my breath because I can't quite …
My Village… Thank you…
Today I want to write about friendships. When Byron died my friends stepped in. They did this thing where even if they barely knew each other they formed this connection with each other in order to be there for me. In my mind when I think about it I see a group of girls holding …
Sitting Still…
I have a habit of jumping into things with both feet, being a bit impulsive and THEN looking back and realizing that I'm having problems because I acted before thinking. I've been working on that this year. I've called this my year of sitting still. No going fast. No dating. No self induced negative energy. …
A letter
Dear Boys, It's been a while since I've written you a letter, so today (Good Friday) I thought I should. BJ...my growing, handsome, strong and resilient boy.... how I love you. You're slowly turning into a preteen. You say the cool little phrases "you thought!" or "duh" and your little brother thinks you hang the …
Still Here
It's been quite a while since I've posted anything... but I've felt like writing for quite a while and just now have a minute to get something down. I find myself writing in my head some days... I'll lay down at the end of the day and think about the post I'd like to write, …
Kingdom work
This has been a long week. I think the loss of Byron is finally hitting BJ. He's been more emotional than usual and acting out at school in ways that he never has. He's also told me in the middle of tears and frustration that he "wants his daddy." This past Wednesday was the first …
To my baby boy,
This is my first letter to you. One of what probably will be hundreds. I'm not writing this letter for any particular reason other than to tell you how much I love you and that I am so incredibly grateful God blessed me with you. When I think of your short time on this earth …
The calm after the storm…
"You are going through the trenches, going at it all alone, with no future to look forward to other than raising those boys. But one day Byron is going to speak to you telling you that you must move forward and get yourself together and at that instance you'll realize that no matter what you must also live for you"...
Fighting For my Sunshine 