I look at my youngest and think about how fast time is flying and how quickly his toddler days are going by and my brain flashes back to when he was an infant. I think about how confused and tired and overwhelmingly sad I was during that time. Being widowed while pregnant was such anContinueContinue reading “Here we are…”
Tag Archives: grief
Aunt Ruby
We lost my great aunt Ruby last night. To a heart attack… she fell unconscious on the way to the hospital where they tried to revive her but couldn’t. This is almost the exact way Byron died. He was at a job site and she was on her way to the hospital… logistically different butContinueContinue reading “Aunt Ruby”
Happy New Year #2018
When the clock struck midnight this year I was laughing… LAUGHING. Who’da thunk it? I have cried my way into the New Year every single year since B died. There’s something sad about starting another year… by yourself. Going into yet another year without a loved one. I remember when I could tell you theContinueContinue reading “Happy New Year #2018”
I saw this this morning…
I saw this meme this morning… and it spoke to me. Some days I feel like I’ve grown so much… and then others I feel like I haven’t gotten anywhere on this journey. Everything I do that is out of my comfort zone scares the hell of out me. And then I retreat. IContinueContinue reading “I saw this this morning…”
Christmas Tradition
Yesterday was Christmas. I decided 3 years ago that the boys and I would stop traveling for Christmas. When B was alive we tried super hard to appease both sides of the family. We’d pack everything up and drive to Austin for Christmas eve, spend the night and get up early and head back toContinueContinue reading “Christmas Tradition”
To my boys
Hey boys, I’ve never written you a joint letter before but I thought I’d give it a try today. BJ you are 7 right now and B2 you’re 3 years old. Christmas will be here in a few days and your level of energy and enthusiasm for life is amazing and exhausting. Right now B2,ContinueContinue reading “To my boys”
Still Here
It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything… but I’ve felt like writing for quite a while and just now have a minute to get something down. I find myself writing in my head some days… I’ll lay down at the end of the day and think about the post I’d like to write,ContinueContinue reading “Still Here”
Kingdom work
This has been a long week. I think the loss of Byron is finally hitting BJ. He’s been more emotional than usual and acting out at school in ways that he never has. He’s also told me in the middle of tears and frustration that he “wants his daddy.” This past Wednesday was the firstContinueContinue reading “Kingdom work”
To my baby boy,
This is my first letter to you. One of what probably will be hundreds. I’m not writing this letter for any particular reason other than to tell you how much I love you and that I am so incredibly grateful God blessed me with you. When I think of your short time on this earthContinueContinue reading “To my baby boy,”
The calm after the storm…
“You are going through the trenches, going at it all alone, with no future to look forward to other than raising those boys. But one day Byron is going to speak to you telling you that you must move forward and get yourself together and at that instance you’ll realize that no matter what you must also live for you”…
Fighting For my Sunshine 